First a disclaimer: I don’t have an answer what happiness is all about but it is a question I have been in search of answering for some time. When once in a while I get an epiphany about what it could be, I try to write it down so I remember in a future. I believe that the key is in collecting all the pieces or most of them and making your own mosaic of things that make you happy at the end.
Last weekend gave me one of those a-ha moments and yesterday even though I was at home with a sick child, and being at home with sick kids is never fun, it made me think of something.
So this is going to be my first little piece in my lifetime collection of happiness.
Last year we took our first long and big trip out of the Europe together as a family. My husband had aversions from travelling with small kids for a very long time.
But last year we got this amazing offer to come and see southeast Asia. We couldn’t say no, so we bought plane tickets in January and spend 6 months planning a whole thing before we were ready to travel for 4 weeks in July. Girls were at that point 2 and 5 years old. I wont go into the details of this trip cause I have an ambition of doing a series with all happenings and places we have seen.
But my point here is that when we came home, there was nothing we missed about it. We looked at each other and concluded that 4 weeks was to little and that there is an empty feeling of being back again.
I couldn´t describe what it exactly was that made us feeling it, but now I know cause I experienced it without being away for a long time, or even being away far away.
It is the feeling of freedom when we are/were travelling. It is the feeling that there is no rush, that there are no limits, timetables and stress, nothing is waiting to be done, nothing to be scared of at the end of the day cause you know that from tomorrow you can do the same. And the wonderful thing about it is when we don’t rush us or kids they are much more relaxed and there are no tensions, expectations, fears of not getting the promised or taking just one more time on the slider or a swing.
Once I was this perfectionist type of person that always needed a full control and timetable for everything. I couldn’t survive my week without organizing it to the last detail and when things didn’t work out as planned my whole world was crushed. I thought it was happiness to know how it is going to look every single minute the rest of your life.
Once I swore that I will work to change it and while I was changing slowly life decided I need a push and before I knew it and without knowing how I ended here and I am loving it. To pack a little bag with only necessary things and take one thing at the time it is wonderful. Last weekend we ate, and laughed, walked and talked, kids were cranky and happy at the same time, we ended exhausted and there was absolutely no mission with our day and it was relaxing and wonderfully fulfilled.
Staying unplanned home with my sick girl was just as same, taking care of here, doing spontaneous stuff in the glimpses of her recovery and no stressing at all. Everything else: laundry, dinner, bath, work and stuff got done sometimes where time was just right. Living in the moment and feeling completely and truly free is now on my mantra. Do you have one of your own?